I’ve realized much to my inner disappointment that I am not that great at practicing what I preach!
That is something that doesn’t sit so well with me as being authentic and having integrity are values that I choose to live by. What I have also realized though, is that I am human and I am not perfect and that it is OK to know this facet about myself and not to let the beasts on self-criticism come out to play.
When I broke and had to re-evaluate all that was natural to me, especially regarding my professional life and who I was ‘meant’ to be, I made a decision. If I was to be truly authentic and to stand in my values I had to own my flaws and my strengths and give each the merit they deserved in making me who I am. If I was to continue being of service to others, and true to myself, I had to be open about my struggles, be vulnerable to external perceptions and the inner story I would make up about what others thought.
Practicing what I preach doesn’t mean I get it right all of the time. It means I am willing to try to stand in my values even when things get hard, especially when things get hard.
Honesty, truthfulness and integrity are core to my being. My perfectionist nature may have shifted how these have played out, as I over emphasized another core value of self-responsibility, but to continue living these I need to be open and honest about my journey.
Being vulnerable is scary, it opens me up to the things my inner self has spent a lifetime trying to beat down. It open me up to people saying I am not enough, people questioning who am I to speak out and offer guidance, people saying I should take a look at myself before I start offering to support others.
Well I am realizing that my inner fears are all the things I have already thought about myself and my being vulnerable to put myself out there anyway, despite this, is the essence of what I aspire to.
If I want to get better at practicing what I preach (note better not perfect) then I need to be willing to put myself out there, imperfections and all and stand tall in who I am and what I have to give.
This is me, this is my story, listen and take from it what you choose. If it is for you and of value then please lean in and keep walking with me.