Who are you? What do you really want? What is your dream? Big questions hey, but before you flick over to something else a little less confronting let me take the pressure off. I would say most of us if we are honest don’t really know the answers!
I certainly didn’t.
Following my breakdown, the second prescription I was given (after the anti-depressants) was to just do one thing I enjoyed each day. Now to be honest I am still not sure which was more challenging for my bruised ego and fragile mind! I had endless time on my hands, thanks to being signed off work, and really didn’t know what to do to bring me enjoyment.
Now I was doing the surface things, sitting in the sun, sipping a coffee, doing a bit of a work out but it struck me that in my striving do it all I had forgotten one key thing.
I had forgotten me – how to dream for myself, my inner happiness and vitality.
I knew what I wanted for the kids, my marriage, the home renovations, the career path, my weight loss goal, the next trip to see the family overseas, and don’t get me wrong these were not selfless dreams and wishes, I benefited from them all.
But strip that away, what about me. Not Helen the mum, wife, daughter, manager, social worker, friend, helper…. What did I enjoy, what made me happy, what was my dream?
I had a vision of Living Well and Working Well, but if I didn’t know what that truly meant for me how was I going to find it, let alone help others in their journey!
I was stressed, anxious, depressed and exhausted in my pre breakdown life, but it was still pretty wonderful. I had the husband, kids, suburban house, career path, just enough income to keep us in the life we were accustomed to, this was life right? Really? This was living…
So I realized before I started doing, I had to find me again. And that meant getting intimate with myself, my desires, emotions and fears. It was about relinquishing the expectations I had of myself, based on my perceptions of external acceptance. It was about digging deep and getting vulnerable.
And let me tell you it is hard, and an ongoing process, but it is so valuable and essential, because in getting to know myself again I am becoming stronger and the more I nurture my inner self the more I have to give.
And with my business vision came the opportunity to Dream. For the first time in oh maybe forever I wondered what life might be like if I didn’t let anything stop me, if there was a new way of working and no financial limitations. And it changed my perspective. I haven’t become financially rich overnight – sorry no get rich quick scheme here – but I feel like I have found wealth in abundance because I have opened my heart to dream. And with that Dream kindling away I can now start to do!